BY MAYORAL PROCLAMATION — we’re not lying, the paperwork’s done and Gavin Newsom said so — THE WEEKEND OF JULY 22-23, 2006 HAS BEEN DECLARED “CYCLECIDE WEEKEND” IN SAN FRANCISCO!!! No really.
San Francisco’s Heavy Pedal CYCLECIDE BIKE RODEO presents: PEDAL MONSTER!
July 21nd – Poker Run, Zeitgeist bar, $5. Arrive at 8pm, ride at 9 SHARP.
July 22, 2-10pm; July 23, 2-8pm – Mission Village Market, 18th and Alabama Streets, San Francisco.
Poker run participation $5, 21 and over. Carnival is all ages; $7-10 sliding scale. RIDER ASSUMES ALL RISK.
San Francisco’s CYCLECIDE BIKE RODEO is, as always, 2 DUM 2 DIE — and ready to get hitched at City Hall, regardless of handlebar shininess or headtube length.
In the wake of their countless tours across the country, insane and successful hometown shows, myriad television appearances, documentary films, festival headlinings, international fashion magazine modeling spreads (no really), and cultural blah blah and interactivity thus and so on and the “for the Kids” every which way, the Honorable Gavin Newsom and the City of San Francisco do hereby proclaim July 22-23 to be CYCLECIDE WEEKEND.
And in return, Cyclecide is proving its eternal love to the City and to the culture of the bike with a freakish, pedal-and-contraption-centric carnival of stupid and epic proportions.
Mutant Bike Clubs from all of the U.S.A. will descend upon San Francisco — from as far away as Seattle, Reno, and New York — to carouse and joust and make out with local hotties. The Cyclecide Bike Rodeo will run around like a chicken with its head geeked off.
There will be bands, shows, games, and general cacophony, the likes of which San Francycle has rarely seen. Accept no imitations — CYCLECIDE REMAINS THE WORLD’S ONLY BIKE RODEO AND PEDAL-POWERED CARNIVAL MIDWAY! Even the mayor agrees.
POKER RUN. Starts at darkish. ZEITGEIST BAR, Duboce and Valencia St.s. Wherein mutant bicycling fans and feisty cyclists are all invited to throw in $5 to participate in a multi-bar POKER GAME involving DRINKING and BICYCLING. There will be prizes and very probably some pie-fighting and light pavement-wrestling
PEDAL MONSTER Festival takes over the Mission Village Market. (P.S. the market is slated for destruction soon after that. Bye-bye, lovely Mission weekends searching the flea market for thrifty treasures. Sniff.)
-Cyclecide Rides & Sideshow, with Skits, Mutant Bikes, Rodeo Clowns, and punk rock mariachi band Los Banos
-An Only In San Francisco Circus Midway, with Wrong-Way Bike Games, Ornery Clowns Doing Incredibly Stupid Things, and Hot Utra Gypsy Bellydancers Selling Raffle Tickets for Mutant Bikes and Other Prizes.
-Interclub Tallbike Jousting, as seen on TV and in the 2003 film-festival hit documentary Too Dumb To Die — contestants include Neanderthals from out-of-town bike tribes, Doyle the 2005 World Tallbike Jousting Champion, and Gorgar the Vain and Belligerent Urine-Eating Monster
-Pervitadora Records’ Glen Meadmore — the Hot, Horny, and Born-Again Singing Cowboy
–The Life-Size Mousetrap — the Rube Goldberg-inspired creation based on the children’s board game but instead of a net at the end there’s a 2-ton safe that smashes things. With three-a-day performances by sexy mice, cranky blue-collar clowns, and the one-woman-band Esmerelda Strange
The Disgusting Spectacle — a Giant Head Sculpture that Picks its Own Nose with an Equally Giant Pointy-Fingered Hand, Powered by a Human-Sized Hamster Wheel
BMX Ramp Competition and Flatland Expo Presented by First Rule
Kielbasa, the Accordion-Playing Lunch Lady
The Slow Poisoner
The Outlaw Country of Hellbound Glory
Flower Frankenstein / BikiniKat
DJs Toph One, jef leopard, Renessa, & Big Daddy
Emceed by the Reverend David Apocalypse
More acts TBA.
More details at: www.cyclecide.com
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