Wherein this blog provides expert advice on how to make realistic-looking, free-floating disembodied eyes for your next zombie party or prank with soup. Courtesy of the bloody good props team over at Thrillpeddlers.
Here’s what you need:
Condoms — preferably NOT ribbed, lubricated, reservoir tip, or thin for her pleasure. The more generic and ghetto the condoms, the better. Also: purchase clear or whitish, unless you’re going for some alien thing.
White opaque liquid soap — not lotion or anything else. The Thrillpeddlers have experimented with all types and consistencies of mostly-white liquid, and they say this is the one.
Nail polish — black, blue-or-brown-or-green, and red — or Sure Shot sign paint, or whatever brush-paint, really. Petroleum products disintegrate each other a lot of the time, so many types of paint will not make your eyeballs last multiple horror parties.
Scissors — the smaller the better.
Unwrap and unroll one condom. Blow air into it to separate the plastic from itself. Pump an eyeball-sized amount of liquid soap into the condom and tie it off so that it looks round. Wrap another condom around all this (don’t forget to blow) and tie that one off too.
Yes, you need both condoms — you don’t want your eyeballs breaking before you can throw them at people. Unless you do. (One Thrillpeddlers crew member experienced a singular joy at playing with her one-condom eyeball in front of an audience and having it explode in her hands and goo-drip down through her fingers.)
Cut the condom one inch below the tie-off knot, then fray the latex in an uneven style that makes the eyeball say “I got ripped out of someone’s head.”
Paint a blue, brown, or green (hazel, what have you) circle opposite the tie-off knot, and a black dot in the center of that. You know, eyeball style.
Then ya take yer red nail polish to the knot and all around it, making shaky rivulets for blood vessels. The thinner the brushes on veins and arteries, the better. My Thrillpeddlers’ gore-tech consultants like to sproing hairs from their own heads to obtain the brush-strokes fine enough for scarily realistic blood-vessel effects.
Et voila. Eyeballs that bounce, and don’t cinematically splooge apart in your hand (unless you intentionally leave off the second condom).
Soak eyeballs in cold spaghetti dishes during Halloween, or in an open container of “blood” just behind the victim’s head …
…say, when your mad-scientist mentor is teaching you just how to torture an unwitting and sexually derelict victim … and you pluck out one spherical viewing mechanism from the still-alive kidnapped whore on your operation table … bodily fluids dripping to the floor from the gurney …
And, as your dementor looks on, you study the eyeball, lick it, and then turn the cornea to make it ogle the unfortuate detainee’s other, fully-functional eye … while she screams with the terror only those about to be forcefully blinded can muster …
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