Our dear old boss and longtime Cacophonist ringmonster Chicken John threw a party last weekend at a reservoir in the hills near Sacramento, CA and everyone made boats out of junk. As the living-legend crooner Freddie Price of Rube Waddell would say, it was fundamentally similar to outstanding.
Rule #1: If you make your boat out of anything that’s not junk or something you found on the free page of Craigslist, you’re doing it wrong. We cheated and brought our kayaks. Well, we couldn’t help it. Turns out the buckets we’d been hoarding for pontoons didn’t seal properly, and fish don’t like glue.
The Ladies’ Guide to the Apocalypse and the Dixiecutioner of Hoodsteading.com search the California gold country for back roads and old bones
Thank you Jeebus for the cloud cover cuz it was HAWT. The homemade junkboat in the foreground is a slip’n’slide. Someone throws a bucket of water on it, you run and Superman-it down the plastic, and in the end, you get not a faceful of grass but a dunk in the East Park Reservoir. Squee.
The Dixiecutioner’s setup = glamping supreme. Her Prius provides electrical power for lights, fan, and music inside the Trailmaster transformer-trailer, which turns into a sturdy canvas vardo-type apartment. Then you fold it all up, back into a trailer, and put your stuff in it and go home. WANT!
Beta test for the Ladies’ Guide to the Apocalypse shade structure, made mostly from Obtainium: free-box calico prints, old pillowcases, and some remnant fabric pieces purchased for a song at The Legacy – Sebastopol, CA’s finest craft thrift store. French seams, ladies, double-topstitched for the wind. Here’s what to do with your carport shade structure long after the original skin has weathered and fallen off.
An obvious favorite.
Leave it to Slouchcycles / Cyclecide Bike Rodeo lead designer and “Loaded Warrior” filmmaker Jay Broemmel to over-engineer a sweet-ass pedal-powered canoe
Sunday’s boat contest was no doubt the most chaotic water-rally of floating monstrosities ever recorded in Northern California or maybe even the world. A strict “don’t give alcohol to anyone ever for any reason / don’t get drunk and become a liablility / no motors / watch all kids” policy at Camp Tipsy, delivered in Chicken John’s usual comic-aggressive style, prevented anyone from drowning. Good clean fun is the new punk rock!
Boat contest trophies made from … you guessed it … junk. Bravo. Categories: Boat most likely to kill pilot; worst design; worst implementation; least like a boat; art fag award; boat most likely to cause an argument; boat most likely to get pilot laid …
“Boats” made strictly from ‘obtainium,’ the world’s most precious element. It’s not just a bunch of junk … it’s a bunch of junk that FLOATS. Camp Tipsy 2012: It’s not the heat — it’s the stupidity.
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