How to save the post office AND get rid of junk mail

In the ladies' guide to the apocalypse by summerburkes5 Comments

News that the Post Office of the United States of America is struggling to stay open should break your heart. Like the crumbling of the Fourth Estate or the egregiously humiliating restrictions on travel, it’s a mark of a closing society.

Luckily, the people of America are some crafty, patriotic individuals. And corporations, as “people,” can be picked on — and possibly overpowered — using their own weapons of mass irritation.

So. Two big birds, one big stone:

That junk mail cramming your inbox full of “offers” for useless items, insurances, and credit scams? From now on, don’t toss it in the recycling without another thought.

Instead — and this is satisfying — look for the return envelopes which don’t require postage and mail the junk straight on back to the faceless entities wastefully tearing down trees in the name of soliciting you. That way, they have to pay the USPS for it.

Ripping up the insides of the mailer sends a clear message to the company to re-think mass mailers. Include other non-SASE junk along with it, if it fits.

Ripping up the insides of the mailer sends a clear message to the company to re-think mass mailers. Include other non-SASE junk along with it, if it fits.

Imagine if we all did this religiously. Talk about a powerful non-partisan action to keep the US Postal Service in business — and to keep the ‘public’ in ‘Republic.’ Plus: Annoy those corporations who annoy you! Win-win.

Smiley-faces, stickers, an encouraging note ... we want to be classy about this, and be sure the workers opening the mail don't get insulted. Gift them with a smile, even if all you can muster is a sarcastic one.

Smiley-faces, stickers, an encouraging note … we want to be classy about this, and be sure the workers opening the mail don’t get insulted. Gift them with a smile, even if all you can muster is a sarcastic one.

Imagine a future-world where private companies control all the mail in America and — after continuous service to We the People, through rain, sleet, snow, and hail since 1775 — all the Post Offices are closed.

Packages would eventually be seized, held, and stolen without accountability. Service prices would be jacked up in cartels. All manner of “free” (rigged)-market hijinks would occur; all manner of poor people would be disqualified.

Bully for the surveillance state; bad for those who need a reliable and centralized mail service. Plus, community. And isn’t the Pony Express / heroic mail-carrier image an inexorable part of Americana?

Oh yes, wait a minute, Mr. Postman ... thanks for everything; we'll be saving you if we can.

Oh yes, wait a minute, Mr. Postman / thanks for everything; we’ll get your back if we can.

MORE: Petition to save the USPS via Congressional bill HR22 here.

 

Follow Summer Burkes on Twitter.

Comments

    1. … but the trees are already murdered by the time we get the junk mail, right? So then we use those martyred trees for an honorable purpose. Otherwise, that junk mail goes into the trash instead of back through the mail, where it could result in money for the USPS. Hopefully the meme catches on such a fire that corporations eventually stop mass-mailing altogether.

      (Funny story though: In 1916, the US Dep’t of Agriculture predicted that by the 1940s, no more trees would ever need to be cut down again, because paper would be made exclusively from HEMP plants that grow 4 times a year with no pesticides. One acre of hemp equals 4.1 acres of trees, and our trees WERE saved … but then quickly un-saved, by Hearst, the Racket Fellers, and other Skeksis of industry. HEMP PROHIBITION IS SO STUPID.)

  1. In the UK the (No Contract Return To Sender) is really taking off, just print out the message paste it on to the envelope over your address and post (mail) it back, the company who sent it too you has to pay for postage costs and they soon get the message that you want nothing to do with them.

  2. Sounds great. (Better than attaching a brick to the return envelope!) lol!
    I’ll be doing my part!
    Julia

  3. Yeah this is a great idea and I used to do it years ago and I was a bit more creative stuffing the return envelope and taping up because now a little heavy. Now, however, I’ve found the post card to be most powerful with a bit of creative mental and written thought.

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