BP trial 2012: No settlement; no exceptions

Trial of the Century … February 27 … ::sound of record scratching:: WHAT?! Delayed?With talks of a 14 Billion Dollar Settlement? AYFKM? [UPDATE March 8: Please call your Senators about the RESTORE Act, soon as ya can thx] How many billion dollars does it take to un-decimate the wildlife population of the Gulf Coast? How much to build a new America’s Wetlands, an essential part of our ecosystem? How much to un-sicken and un-kill all those people and dolphins? … If corporations are people, then how come these people can get away with murder?

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O, Death. Of the Gulf. And maybe us.

The first rule of the Ladies’ Guide to the Apocalypse is: Avoid certain death. Why do blowout preventers exist on oil wells, anyway? Well, partially, because the methane doesn’t exit in a steady stream. It burps. And methane is spewing out of that oilcano hole at a rate of 3000 to 1. So multiply the number of Valdez tankers this bloodletting has claimed, and multiply that by 3000, and that’s how much extra methane has been released into the Gulf so far. One big burp, and we’re all done for.

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from the desk of BP: thanks, but no thanks

Annnnnnnnd … pass that buck! From: Horizonsupport@oegllc.com 281-366-5511 Thank you for registering with the BP Horizon Response Center. BP is working with state organizations to coordinate volunteer efforts in affected Gulf of Mexico states. As a volunteer you will not come into contact with oil contaminated materials, but may perform mitigation activities in non-oil contaminated areas such as pre-cleaning beaches.

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Deepwater Horizon oil spill = America’s colon cancer

Stardate: Oil catastrophe Mayday, 2010… New Orleans is America’s groin. Not the “asshole of America” nor “America’s taint,” mind you, because this place is far too sacred to be dismissive like that. I mean yes, we literally sit at the bottom of the drainage basin for the nation’s spine — the Mississippi River — and Louisiana’s marshes catch a lot of the trash that flows down from Minnesota and points in between.

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