Burning Man Cleanup: MOOP archaeology

In this one time at burning man by summerburkesLeave a Comment

Found a makeup case in a dune today: A makeup case which aliens must have packed.

ALIEN #1 PACKING FOR BURNING MAN: “Let’s see… in order to simulate the appearance of a female human, I must cover the portions of newly-grown skin which protect the eyes and mouth in gradients of pigment.”

ALIEN #2, ASSIGNED TO THE SAME MISSION: “Female humans of breeding age also habitually carry fiber-based bullets designed to stop the flow of shedding uterine lining. Here, have one.”

ALIEN #1: “A black pencil, a reflecting device, and … What am I missing? … Ah yes. An implementation tool for applying the pigment. This simulated horsehair apparatus should do it.”

ALIEN #2: “The makeup transporter seems sparse. Here, have another palette of variously colored frosted powder.”

Whoever it is that packed this makeup case, please tell us what you want with us. Are you friendly?

Yep, we’re onto you people. Or whatever you are. Next time, at least try adding an eyeshadow brush and some mascara.


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